Angee's Health and Wellness CoachingIf you’re anything like me, the thought of being alone used to make me really uncomfortable. I felt like I needed to constantly try to fill the silence with something or be with someone to avoid the feeling of loneliness creeping in. I would be calling and texting, browsing relentlessly through social media.
But what I have learned over the years is that being alone doesn’t have to be lonely. It can be one of the most empowering experiences if you allow it to be.
Do you feel the constant need to be around people?
Understanding That Being Alone Doesn’t Equal Loneliness
At first, I didn’t get this. I used to think that being alone automatically meant I was missing out or disconnected. But here’s the thing: there’s a huge difference between being alone and feeling lonely. You can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely, or you can be completely alone alone and feel content. It’s all about perspective. Once I realised that, I began to view my alone time as an opportunity rather than a problem.
I have been in rooms full of people where I felt uncomfortable and alone. I have pinned that experience to being in the wrong place, with the wrong people not only because I wanted to fit in but also because I did not want to miss out.
This pattern went on for years before I realized what was happening. I wasn’t staying because I enjoyed the company or the environment—I was staying because I was afraid of being left out, even if it meant feeling completely uncomfortable.
My takeaway on this is:
- being alone can be a positive experience. It’s an opportunity for self-reflection, personal growth, and creativity.
- It’s possible to feel lonely even in a crowd or feel peaceful when alone.
Turn Peace & Quiet Into Self-Care
I used to dread alone time because it felt unproductive and boring and it felt like I was missing out. But now I see it as a form of self-care. I actually look forward to my solitude where I can just be with myself. I have learnt new skills to improve my wellbeing such as reading a book, gardening, or trying a new recipe, these activities have become my way of recharging.
Alone time is your chance to reconnect with yourself, and honestly, it feels really good once you start leaning into it.
Changing the Story You Tell Yourself
This was a game-changer for me. Instead of thinking, “I’m alone, so I must be disconnected” I started reframing it to “I’m alone, and I get to do the things I enjoy” The moment you stop seeing solitude as something to run away from, it becomes way less intimidating. It’s not about avoiding people or shutting yourself off; it’s about being okay with your own company.
What I mostly avoid during my solitary time:
- I limit social media which often creates the illusion of connectedness but can leave us feeling more isolated or anxious
- I engage in physical activities walking, or any form of movement that can help resist feelings of loneliness while being alone.
Create a Cozy Environment
Design a space that you are going to love spending your alone time. A warm, inviting space can make solitude more enjoyable. Adding personal touches, lighting candles, or playing soothing music can make time alone feel special rather than isolating. An out
Spending time alone in an outdoor environment brings a completely different feeling—one that can be both grounding and liberating. The fresh air, open spaces, and natural beauty all seem to magnify the sense of peace and stillness. Being outside alone feels like a reset for me. I would rather be outside than in where I am not confined by walls or routines of washing dishes and laundry ‘boring!
It’s Okay to Reach Out, Just Don’t Rely on It
I’m not saying you should cut yourself off from all contact with others. Connection is still important, but what I have learned is that it’s healthier to reach out to people from a place of fullness, not as a way to fill an emptiness. I want to spend time with others because I want to, not because I am afraid of being alone. It makes those connections so much more meaningful.
I connect with some of my friends from a period of 3 months to 6 months, because I have learnt to connect with myself more than with others. And I can understand we are all different, it’s ok to want to be with others all the time if it makes you happy.
